You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
