I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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