i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
