bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
