My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
