I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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