She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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