Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was like eating out sand paper
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize