And to think..we used to do everything sober...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He shit in the fireplace
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
