well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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