Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think my moral compass just broke
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