Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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