seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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