Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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