Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nixon1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO

(908): View more from New Jersey

dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

Fav 27 4522 1299
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

Fav 14 1063 6584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(228): View more from Mississippi

She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her

Fav 15 3724 1963
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."

Fav 12 6346 1267
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

Fav 8 2160 906
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?

Fav 5 1387 653
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

Fav 6 800 547
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I just got baptized.

(540): View more from Virginia

Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.

Fav 0 51 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations

Fav 0 59 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT