Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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