Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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