new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can text with my tongue
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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