I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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