I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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