No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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