He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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