I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
