my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize