I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
