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I want to stick my p in your. b.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hippo gnu deer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
