I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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