the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
