y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
