I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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