I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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