so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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