11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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