finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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