So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
