Porn is love you can see.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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