New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
