I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
