I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
