Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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