You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
