...so i touched it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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