I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
