your thong is hanging out like whoa
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
two words...techno handjob
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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