This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
