Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
