I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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