How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
this hospital has no fireball
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
