It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
