And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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