somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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