never play flip cup with pint glasses
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
