Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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