3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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