he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
