They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
