Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize