ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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