Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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